The Berry Family

Yoga With Friends

2012-01-31T09:52:00.000-08:00

I went to a new Hot Yoga place with Debbie and Mrs. M.

This new place was different classes but it felt great.

As you can read about the experience on M's blog I may be flexible to do the stretches but I need to work on my balance.

There was a time when the instructor was showing us this cool pose we could try and we looked at each other with wide eyes and thought "YEAH RIGHT". But I did the beginning pose and it wasn't bad so I said (out loud, oops!) I WANT TO DO IT.

And I did.

The last time I did a hot yoga class was 2 days before I went into labor with the twins. My body was aching and yoga made me stretch it out so I could actually sleep.

This time I was just proud that I didn't feel massive and stuck in my own body.

I love yoga. If it weren't so expensive and I had someone to watch my kids I could go to classes every day.

Its Party Time!

2012-01-30T09:25:00.001-08:00

Nothing like sitting on a fridge for entertainment! Oh the good times at cousins house.

video

2012-01-26T17:41:00.000-08:00

Cookies

2012-01-26T17:26:00.000-08:00

growing and rolling

2012-01-25T17:25:00.000-08:00

Boston

Jager

Jett has finally realized that the babies are staying. He asks to hold them, loves to tell me when he can hear them cry, but also has the new job of being the soother boy. He LOVES to find the soothers and put them in the babies mouths. He knows you have to hold it in there for a second until they start sucking. Its so cute. He also asks to put them down so that I can come play with him.

Jager is now 7 lbs 5 oz. He is now rolling over. He has a really strong neck. He still eats every 3 hours but we are hoping soon he will start going longer.

Boston is 6 lbs 5 oz. Grandma says he rolled over but Mom hasn't seen it yet. He is VERY good at arching his back though. Boston is finally opening his eyes and focusing them on things which makes me very happy. He too is eating every 3 hours. Both babies are really spitty. I was so hoping to have no spitters this time. Oh well.

One Month Old

2012-01-24T10:24:00.000-08:00

Sorry these are posted so late, but I just got the disc back! These were taken 2 days after they got home from the hospital, so they were a month and a half old and 4 pounds at this point.

Boston

Jager

Boston

Jager

Boston

Jager

2012-01-19T09:41:00.001-08:00

3 years of diaper purchasing, plus twins in the nicu will purchase you this

Thank you pampers and your gifts to grow program.

Finally something free for all of that money in the dump. Literally.

Jettisms

2012-01-04T09:13:00.001-08:00

Nothing opens your eyes to your bad habits than your two year old repeating your words and copying your actions.

"stop puking baby!"

Babies are crying mommy! Hurry!

I want to pump too mommy!

No more jumping on the bed!

I have to say Jett has adjusted fairly well to the babies. He prettying ignores them most of the time. He is my little baby monitor and will tell me when he hears them cry. He doesn't want to hold them but he will ask to go see them and climb on the bottom rung of the crib and peek in.

I feel bad for Jett because his life has probably changed the most. He wakes up in the morning and says "I'm ready! Let's go! Another popular phrase is "I want to go to grandma &/or cousins house". He is used to running around doing errands with me and getting out. I think he is getting bored. My friends have all been great for taking him on play dates and it has been so nice. Especially with all my doctors appointments for the boys it makes it easier to only have to take the two.

I have managed to take all 3 boys to my moms or to drop Jett off somewhere, but I haven't taken all 3 out somewhere without help. I am scared. I also haven't taken out my stroller (the thought of dragging it through a snowy parking lot then throwing it in my trunk grosses me out a bit) but I think if I dug it out I could take all 3 somewhere.

Life with twins isn't all bad. If you are up feeding one you may as well feed two. If you change one diaper you can change two. I am mentally bracing myself for when their carriers are heavy and hard to carry. With them only weighing 5 pounds it's not so bad. The only rough time is when one falls asleep and the other doesn't and only wants to be held, and you are so tired you just want to sleep. Good times!

We are surviving. Mick and my mom have been great help. Bree is making sure we don't starve. I am just trying to sleep and enjoy these early days.

Two Months

2011-12-31T16:20:00.000-08:00

The Boys are now two months old. A friend of mine is starting to do photography and asked to take some pictures of my sweet little boys. Here you are!

B left J right

Boston in a hat I crocheted for him!

Jager yawning

Birthday

2011-12-13T18:07:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the 12th. It was supposed to be the last day I was going to be pregnant. I am greatly relieved that I WASN'T pregnant any longer because I was getting extremely uncomfortable but I was secretly hoping for a november 30th birthday, which is when Boston ended up coming home.

Needless to say, they are here and doing well. As their doctors appointment today Boston weighed 4 pounds 11 ounces, and Jager weighed 5 pounds 4 ounces. They are getting so big!

I had some pictures taken and there are more to come one day...

The Birth Story - if you want to read it!

2011-12-12T21:04:00.000-08:00

At 4 in the morning I woke up and my stomach hurt. It wasn't a normal pain, but it definitely wasn't a labor pain. It wasn't constant or continuous. It was stabby?? Jett was sleeping in my bed so climbed into his. I started feeling the pain again, but without an alarm clock I had no idea how often so I ran back to my bed. I told Mick what I was feeling and we discussed if I should go in or not. We were trying to remember information about when we should go to the hospital but we deemed it useless because that was for when you were in full term labor. I was 2 months early. The only person I could think of who had preterm labor multiple times was my sister in law Katie, but she just had a baby herself, I wasn't about to call her at 6am. If she was sleeping I wanted her to sleep.

I finally decided to call my mom and ask her opinion. She calmly said, JUST GO IN. There is a fetal triage unit in our hospital, anyone can go in when they are 18 weeks pregnant and there isn't a wait. I remember telling my mom, I feel like he is ready to crawl out of me.

By the time I got to the doctors office I wasn't really feeling any pain. I felt like they would laugh in my face and send me home, The nurses came in and were trying to find the babies heart beats. They found baby A right away but they kept finding his twice rather than baby B's. The nurse spent over an hour talking to me about my health history and just chatting. I am happy and chatty at this point, and relieved that there isn't something drastically wrong.

The doctor comes in and describes some test that he can do that tells us if I would go into labor within a week. He checks me and says, We don't need to do the test, you are 7 cm dilated. At this point things start to get a bit rushed. The immediately call for me to get a shot of steroids to develop the babies lungs and antibiotics because I am not far enough along to have taken the strep B test. I call mick and tell him to drop off Jett. I ask the nurse if he should pack me a bag and she said yes, I wouldn't be going home before the babies were born. I am thinking that they will put me on bed rest and buy me a few days.

The doctor calls the ambulance to transfer me to another hospital because the boys were too premature to stay at that hospital. They do an ultrasound to see the babies positions, and baby B is laying twisted around baby A which was why they couldn't find his heart beat. Now they are worried that they are coming too quickly, so I should deliver there and then transfer all 3 of us to Foothills Hospital.

The ambulance arrives and they decide to check me again to see if I had progressed. I am talking to Mick on the phone at this point telling him to just drive to the hospital. Mick is confused and I tell him to JUST DRIVE! I was feeling calm because everything was out of my control but the one thing I wanted was for Mick to be there. They finally decide to transfer me. The two EMT workers are wheeling me out and they both say "See you again in 7 months!". They were both pregnant.

So I happily chat with the ladies about their pregnancies, they roll me into the back and the doctor says, "IF she feels any pressure turn on the sirens." Here I am, thinking, UMM NO SIRENS? How many times in your life do you get to ride in an ambulance? What a rip off.

The blonde EMT takes my information and we are chatting away, when she says, "You will tell me if you feel pressure right? This is a one woman show and the last thing I want is to deliver breech premature twins in the back of an ambulence." I noticed that the sirens were on! YAY!

I get there in one piece (still one person, not 3?) and I see another doctor, get another IV, another ultrasound, and another "check". Pleasant. I am told that I am fully dilated, effaced, and there are legs coming out. I am told that the C-Section will be within 15 minutes. FINALLY Mick gets there, and I can freak out. What do I choose? The location of my purse and getting my camera. I tell him, can you get the camera out of my purse? Don't leave the purse hanging out, they might steal my STUFF. You know, the essentials. My people magazine, my book, my crocheting? My phone.

Get the camera, put it in your pocket. He hands me his book. In his mad rush out he remembered a book? When did he think he was going to read? You can tell our mental state of mind that morning, we didn't believe it could really happen.

They wheel me into the room and numbed me. I freaked out. I couldn't breathe. I told Mick he had to talk to me. He was too nervous and couldn't think of anything. I got mad. The anesthesiologist began to tell me about her visit to China to train their workers. Saved my mental state and after that everything was fine.

They delivered Baby A at 11:42 and B at 11:44. It was silent in the room. Mick shouted back statistics, and I asked if they looked like babies or gremlins. BABIES was the answer. I didn't know what 29 one day short of 30 week babies would look like. 2 ish pounds each. 1150 and 1310 grams.

Mick didn't take a single picture. I forgot to ask until way after the fact when I starting asking for my purse again. Funny the things you do when you can't control anything.

2011-12-09T16:52:00.001-08:00

Jager in his new preemie outfit. The one of few that fit!

Our Life Lately

2011-12-09T16:44:00.000-08:00

This is our life based on the pictures taken from my iphone

Debbie put Chloe's Hair in a pony tail so I put hers in a matching one!

Jett decided he too wanted to "make bottles for babies"

Jett wanted to talk on the phone to the babies.

A sneak peak at what is to come in our nursery for the babes.

This group is my favorite. Jett decided he was "sick" and as he remembers from me, this means sticking your face into the toilet.

I asked him if he had to puke and he said yes, but if I asked him if his tummy hurt he said no.

When I pulled out the camera he smiled and said CHEESE.

Later on, he fell asleep in just that position.

It made me laugh SO HARD.

Cute little stinker.

P.S. Jager (pronounced JAY-ger) is now 5 pounds!

Halloween 2011

2011-12-09T10:04:00.001-08:00

I forgot about this until I uploaded some pictures from my iphone today.

For Halloween the babies were in the hospital, but I wanted Jett to have a good time.

Its the first year he really GOT it.

We practiced trick or treating at the pantry door and he was so excited about getting candy and was really good at yelling trick or treat and thanks.

He was dressed as a shark, the same as last year. I love the costumes from Old Navy because they are warm enough for our cold seasons.

A week before the real halloween, some friends had a bunch of families at the church and we each took a room and had indoor trick or treating followed by a movie. It was such a great idea for the little kids.

The real halloween I went to the hospital and Mick took Jett out with his cousins.

I bought these masks at the dollar store so that we could look dressed up.

The Soothing Center Returns

2011-12-06T11:08:00.000-08:00

Remember how much I love my swing?

So much so that I have debated if I need two.

Who needs two when your guys are so little they can share?

Behind the scenes this was going on. I had 6 kids in my care, sad to say 3 were mine! But after movies, food and toys all failed to entertain we made a fort! Good times were had and I was happy because it meant the basement was getting drywalled by these kids' dads!

Boston is Home

2011-12-03T22:09:00.000-08:00

When Boston was able to come home, we had been home with Jager for 2 nights, 1 day. This time, Mick stayed home with the boys and I came with my mom to pick up the little guy. I was so nervous to have to feed him in the middle of the night (he eats very slow) but so excited to not have to trek back and forth to the hospital every day.

This day I so loved snuggling with this little guy.

Our nights have been long, up every 3 hours. However, my husband is awesome and usually takes a feeding or two in the middle of the night to let me sleep. Between that and the last few months of getting rest, I am a lot less hormonal this time around.

I am surviving so far, but being home from the hospital just gives me more opportunities to drive around the city meeting the specialists at their offices. Fun times for us.

Jager is home!

2011-11-29T11:03:00.000-08:00

I was so excited to get him off those monitors and take some pictures of him. Unfortunatley his newborn clothes were a little too big for my 4 pound baby,

Jager L Boston R

2011-11-27T11:00:00.000-08:00

Jager Left Boston Right

Its hard to take great pictures of them because they are always either in our arms or in their cribs.

They are attached to their monitors so they can't travel far.

Both boys weigh 4 pounds now! Jager is 4 pounds 5 ounces and Boston is 4 pounds 1 ounce as of today. Their faces are starting to fill out, their bodies are starting to loose the loose skin everywhere. When they take their baths they both relax and look like they are just chillin in the hot tub. Its so cute.

Jager has been great at keeping his eyes open and making eye contact when he is awake. Last night was the first time I got Boston to do the same thing. It was so great to see him look like a real baby, alert and ALIVE in there. I love my little guys.

I was asked on Friday to bring in the car seat in for Jager. Before they can come home they have to pass a few different milestones such as:

off oxygen

no IV's

maintaining body temperature on their own

no Brady's or Desat's (alarms)

all feeds by bottle for 48 hours

car seat test - must sit in the car seat without alarming for 90 minutes

Boston has passed all of these except for the last 2. He takes MOST feeds by bottle but once or twice a day he will tire out and finish the last bit by his feeding tube.

Jager has taken all feeds by bottle for over a week now. He is REALLY close to coming home, especially now that they asked him to bring in the car seat. I think they will give him the test today? We will find out, but I am not sure if he is ready to pass it yet. I can't wait to have him home.

I am thinking it will be nice to have one than the other home so I can ease into this 3 kids under 3 business. I am just worried about hauling Jager in to go visit Boston. We will see how it goes. I don't think Boston will be much longer in there either. Maybe a week, two tops?

Thus is my life.

Brooke

Grandma Visits

2011-11-27T10:48:00.000-08:00

My Grandma Johnson came to the hospital to visit the babies. Other family members came too but they have a strict visiting policy. Only Parents, Grandparents and siblings of the baby are allowed to visit. SO the rest had to wait in the family visiting room.

Here is Grandma J holding Jett. This is his new "thinks he is cute" pucker his lips face. Whenever he is being shy or avoiding getting in trouble this is the look we get.

My cousin Ben and Christene came with their daughter Indira. She is about a month younger than Jett and this is the first time they have met. It was nice to see them together, they loved to hug and hold hands.

As per usual we get a view of life from Jett's perspective. He LOVES to take pictures.

Aunt Jocelyn

My Crazy Face. Your welcome.

See ya

2011-11-13T19:26:00.000-08:00

Both boys are over 1500 grams so they got new, bigger feeding tubes. This makes me very happy because their feeds take FOREVER. Also, they get to eat more every 3 hours rather than a little less every 2 hours. They are growing up. Finally, they are old enough to keep their temperature stable, so they got to move out of their isolette's and into a crib that they share!

My funny little boy.

Too bad Jett is blurry in this. My 2 oldest boys.

This is their little crib that the share.

Updates

2011-11-07T20:36:00.000-08:00

The boys are off isolation - but still in the awesome private room. Every day I think they will be moved and they haven't. Lucky Me.

Today when I went in to hold the boys was the first time I have ever held them with NO alarms going off for either boy. The other day they had some horrible de-sat's (when they aren't getting enough oxygen) and Brady's (when their heart rate drops) so they upped their daily dose of caffeine which stops the alarms. YAY for no panic attacks today.

I am so happy they are improving. They are starting to suck on soothers so we might start teaching them to suck this week. The things you don't realize you will have to do when your baby is born 2.5 months early.

Jager's First Bath

2011-11-03T21:57:00.000-07:00

Boston's First Bath

2011-11-03T21:53:00.000-07:00

2011-11-02T21:53:00.001-07:00

Isolation

2011-11-02T21:51:00.000-07:00

So the boys got moved to isolation. They have eye infections, so they are in a private room to prevent the spreading of infections. I love the private room because it has its own bathroom and a couch, so Jett can come visit and hang out. He finally got to see his brothers outside of the box. Unfortunately we have to wear gowns and gloves so we look so attractive.

Jett will look up from his "DORA BOOTS" to take a peek at his sweet brother Jager.

OH all you do is lay there? Back to my show.

Thats the baby mommy? He kept pointing at him it was cute.

Thats whats going on with the boys today!

2011-11-01T22:03:00.000-07:00

This is my dad holding baby Boston, this is a few days ago

Babies

2011-10-29T19:59:00.000-07:00

Jager is on the Left, Boston on the Right

Moving

2011-10-26T22:50:00.001-07:00

Not us, the babies. I woke up this morning to the phone call that the boys were being transferred to rockyview today, which is the hospital MUCH closer to our house.

When I got to their new home Boston had his Iv out and nasal prongs out. Both boys had their feeding tubes removed. It was weird to see them with no wires. Without them you can see just how tiny they are. They are exceeding expectations every day and I am amazed at all they accomplish in their little lives.

I feel such a peace when I visit the boys. There is not a lot to do except hold a baby. I feel so calm around them, all of my worries can fall away and I just have to worry about holding them, looking at their cute faces, and relaxing. The spirit around them calms my soul.

I will post more pictures tomorrow. I am so grateful for everyone's help and prayers for our family. It means so much to us.

Jett-Ism's

2011-10-25T08:54:00.000-07:00

Funny things Jett has said lately:

After asking for a juice box 1000 times by 8am.

"Mom it makes me feel better"

After moving him off my lap,

"Mom stop wiggling"

After placing his football on the ground.

"I want to kick a soccer ball"

This kid cracks me up. I am amazed at the things he says every day.

Progress

2011-10-24T07:57:00.000-07:00

When I went to visit last night Jager had his nasal prongs out.

I guess he decided to pull them out and when he was breathing fine without them they

decided to leave him like that! Way to show those nurses whose boss little guy.

Jett was super tired when we were about to leave so we decided to take him with us.

Boston is doing well. He is tolerating his feeds MUCH better and gaining weight. His nasal prongs are in and he is doing really well. He has a peripheral IV instead of the deep nasty one his brother has because they are both doing so well they will hopefully be off them in a day or two.

I got to hold them both together which was fun and terrifying at the same time. Jager cuddled right into my arm but Boston wanted to lay his head into Jager's face which freaked him out. Then he wanted to lay sideways and NOT up and down, so his squirming made me a bit nervous since I only had one hand! OH a sign of things to come.

I heard mention of transferring them to Rockyview soon, which is WAY better for me because its so much closer to home and I can visit for longer. I love all the nurses I have had (with the exception of one) and would be sad to leave where they are at, but half the travel time is HUGE.

Jett is doing well, the first few days of me being home he wanted to sleep in my bed and always wanted me to hold him. You could tell he didn't want me to leave and transitions are hard. When I ask him to put his shoes on he freaks out. He keeps asking for Grandma's House all the time.

Jager and Boston

2011-10-21T12:23:00.000-07:00

Two little boys were rushed into this world Sunday morning. The birth story will follow shortly but I thought I would update for those of you who haven't yet heard.

Twin A is Jager Brooks Berry and was born at 11:42 am weighing 2 lbs 14 oz

Twin B is Boston Michael Berry born at 11:44am weighing 2 lbs 12 oz.

They were born at 29 weeks 6 days gestation, so the major organs are developed, they just need to gain some weight and perfect their breathing.

They are not on ventilators but they do have masks to bring more air closer to their noses so they can breath easier.

They are fed gavage feedings which isn't a feeding tube but rather it uses gravity to feed them until they are old enough to suck and swallow.

Suck, Swallow, Breath is our new mantra!

Teeny tiny hands

This orange tube is what he eats with

2011-10-15T09:39:00.001-07:00

What a day. I had am ultrasound this morning. I now have them every two weeks along with doctors appointments. Jett does really well and the doctor even told everyone he was the best 2 year old she has seen in there. The ladies all love him and he managed to swindle 4 stickers out of them. They are stuck to his arms and he refuses to remove them.

Babies are good. 2 lbs 12 oz for twin right and 2 lbs 11 oz for twin left (I don't have the regular twin A and twin B because neither of them is "lower" or the presenting twin). So when i am feeling massive it's because they weigh together close to what Jett did when he was born. Within a few ounces anyways. I have 6 pounds of baby in there!

I am feeling good no major complaints. I feel like I did with Jett at the very end so the only disappointing thing is that I still have 7-8 weeks left. It's getting hard to sleep and my maternity shirts are not all covering my belly. It's awkward.

My feet haven't been swelling too horribly yet, unlike last time! There is still time I know it's coming.

AND THE GENDER IS...

2011-09-28T20:56:00.000-07:00

AND

So I have put off posting this because I found it depressing.

I know real people have real problems in life but I wanted my own pity party for a while.

I am having two boys.

My least favorite of all of the combinations possible.

The day I found out I avoided all phone calls.

This is the email I sent to my 2 BFF's to explain.

I am fine with the boys in general, its just that I am mourning the loss of having a daughter. Everyone keeps telling me to have another kid and just pay to have it be a girl but I just don't think I am sane enough to have 4 kids. Or is that too sane? I just think I was totally fine with 2, 3 sounds like a handful and 4 is crazy. I look at all the cute clothes my mom had saved that I refused to let my mom give away and it makes me sick that I have imagined having them for my little girl and it just might not happen. I think of all the cute blankets, beaded socks, headbands, etc that I will never get to buy. My blessing dress I wore hanging in my old room at my moms house. I hoped my girl would wear it on her blessing day. I already have Jett to live the boy dreams through, I just wanted a girl! If I didn't already have a boy it wouldn't be as big a deal because I would just have one more. 3 kids, I can mentally grasp. I know people loose way more in life, children die at all sorts of ages, but I still just feel this loss of what could have been. You know? Its not tragic, its just sad. I just cant be open about it because, YES they are healthy, my nephew died at 18. How would his mom feel to hear me whine about something so insignificant? Its just silly but I am still just sad about it. SO I haven't really told anyone. I am not ready to hear the its all going to be okays. I just want to wallow in my own sadness for one day and keep it to myself. My mom freaked out when she didn't hear from me and thought something was wrong with the babies, so when she called 20 times and wouldn't stop I finally bawled to her on the phone about it. She understood. Other than that you two are the only people that know because I have had enough of the polite chit chat from Mick. I just want to be pissed for a while. It feels good.

When I am happy we can all discuss the great things about having yet MORE boys and if either of you have a girl I get to be the special aunt who spoils them crazy and makes them crazy accessories and you have to let them wear them because mine can't. They might get the massive flower headbands or crappy hand made bows so deal with it and consider yourself warned as of this moment.

I am over it and getting excited.

Now to think of names.

I can think of single names I like

but not two together

that also sound good with Jett

If I name one with a "J" name I feel like I have to name BOTH

What are the rules?

Do I care about the rules?

OH the dilema's.

I am offering a cash reward for whoever comes up with a name.

It can't be common,

it can't be too weird

you have to be able to spell it and pronounce it.

I prefer it to be NOT in the top 1000 most common names

on the social security website.

Is there anything LEFT?

HELP!!!

Life lately

2011-09-21T19:18:00.000-07:00

Jett found a mirror and was so excited to see himself. He kept kissing the mirror over and over. I couldn't get him to leave! Then he found a shirt (FROM THE STORE) and proceeded to "wash" the mirror. I am a little worried that my son is getting a little OCD with his wanting every thing clean. He will now wash the faucet in the tub so he can see himself and kiss it. Cute, but a little much.

Jett had to have a minor surgery. It was a regular procedure but he had to be put to sleep and it was really sad to see your baby in pain. He was mostly upset about the IV in his hand.

The Children's hospital was AMAZING. They had little dvd players for each kid to watch. He was plenty distracted having lots of Dora and Thomas to watch.

They also had little play areas all over for the kids to play with. There were a 3-4 toy sections as well as a book section. They really kept the kids in mind and I was so relieved. He also refused to wear the cute baby scrubs that they provide. I was sad I didn't get a picture of him in them because they are soo cute.

They wrapped a face cloth over his IV so he wouldn't pull at it. This was the only part he kept whining about and saying it was itchy.

So we distracted him with DORA BOOTS! He was really happy to have his bears with him and his 'special blanket'. I was really happy with how well he did and all is healed and recovered with Jett man. The best part about the whole day was only have to pay for lunch and parking. God Bless Canada!

More Jett-Ism's

2011-09-20T16:36:00.000-07:00

So there have been just a few funny things Jett has done lately.

He has started to get quite the imagination.

I had mentioned that a band-aid I put on him had a picture of a panda bear on it.

All of a sudden he will wake up screaming he is "scared - PANDA BEAR!".

I will leave him alone for a few minutes and he will throw all of his shirts into a pile and proclaim - "a beautiful castle, with an elephant!".

He found my camera tripod and shouted "ITS A BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS!"

Last sunday mid dinner with no promoting from ANYONE he started to scream about being scared of the Panda Bears. This video was taken about 3 minutes into the screaming so we were already laughing and discussing at this point. It was just too funny to forget.

Little pants

2011-09-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

I was helping Jett get dressed this morning when he refused to wear jeans. He proclaimed them "daddy's pants". I tried other pants and he refused them as well. What did he want to wear? "little pants". And he then dug out shorts.

In fall denial.

Courage

2011-09-12T14:39:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot about the many women in my life who have also struggled to start or expand their familes. There is a wide range of trials that many women go through, Infertility, miscarriage, waiting to adopt, the loss of a child, I think we all know someone who has been there.

I strongly debated sharing my own personal story because I felt it was too personal. However, in sharing my most personal and awkward moments, I have been faced with uneducated comments from people who obviously don't know my entire story and judge me based on decisions I have made that ONLY AFFECT MY FAMILY.

I think that as a woman there is something specifically painful and personal about not being able to easily conceive and bear a child. It doesn't matter if you alway wanted to be a mother of 5 or found out later in life that a child was something you wanted in your life. Realizing that you are in the group where motherhood wont come easily to you hugely sucks. It consumes your emotions and your thoughts, makes you feel out of control of your own life and body. I have had great friends who have also struggled and sometimes I feel like I am in a secret club that only we understand.

At the end of the 3 years, hundreds of painful tests and procedures, and a very patient husband, I was lucky. I had a beautiful son. And he is wonderful and I am so grateful he is here. But looking back on the experience, and also going through fertility treatments again, I see something new. Having a child was only one of the blessings I was given through this experience. I see that this trial, the same one I cursed for so long, has enabled me. It has given me strength. It has taught me courage. I wouldn't be who I am today if I had not gained the perspective the trial forced me to learn.

And so to those of you out there who are feeling anything like I did. Here is a note of encouragement to you. You are stronger than you know. You are not alone. You are in my thoughts and my fingers are continually crossed for you.

Global Fest

2011-09-07T17:31:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago the family all went to Global Fest. Its an international fireworks competition that takes place here and the show is truly remarkable. Some shows are truly art.

We were very excited about our treats.

I didn't get any pictures of the fireworks, but we had lots of fun. The fair food is always spectacular, they hand out free coke cans, the older boys thought it was a little loud (the twins) and Jett started singing twinkle twinkle little star. It was really cute and he was REALLY excited.

Jett-isms

2011-08-28T11:04:00.000-07:00

Drawing shapes for Jett when I draw a square and ask him what it is. "A pillow! Soft!"

Family Day At Work

2011-08-25T22:18:00.000-07:00

Jett got to ride in the big truck and honk the horn. It was loud and mommy screamed which freaked out Jett.

They make the coke there, and the bottles, and here is some diet coke being made. It was REALLY cool to see even if I didn't get the entire tour.

My Dream Job.

Belly Shots

2011-08-12T18:07:00.000-07:00

This is the bump at 20 Weeks. Here is what I looked like with Jett at 22 Weeks. HMMMM. I can't decide if I am huge or not because I feel big but when I am looking at pictures I guess not as big as I am imagining.

Summer Days

2011-08-10T16:55:00.000-07:00

My son has reached an age where he wants to choose his own clothes (as evidenced here) This day we went to the splash park with his rain boots on and the same toque he wore in that picture the other day. Yes, AUGUST, our only warm month. Rain boots and toque. Talk about season confusion. But he does look cute!

We went to my friend Chelsea's house and she put some feather hair extensions in Jett's hair. Mine too, but Jett's are the controversial ones. I think they are cute and fun, seeing as how he is a little boy they aren't going to last long. The men in the family have other opinions...

Jett Sat with his friend Crew while I got mine done. They are very into DORA and both wanted to hold Crew's Ipad. Jett was very excited (too bad we don't have one).

My friend from AZ is up working as a Nanny for a family in my community. It has been nice to have another "mom" friend to hang out with and she is staying through her next semester of school so I can't wait for more fun times!

Jett-Ism's

2011-08-02T16:33:00.000-07:00

Jett man made me laugh today. We pulled into the garage after running errands and yelled out "COUSINS HOUSE". I think he loves that he can say things and I understand and can follow his commands. However, he LOVES bossing me around. We get to cousins house and he picks up a thomas train, hugs it, and says "OH THOMAS I MISSED YOU!" I laughed out loud.

He repeated it when we got home. OH BUZZ I MISSED YOU!

Kid cracks me up.

To remember

2011-07-31T12:04:00.001-07:00

via

Oklahoma Part II

2011-07-26T21:13:00.000-07:00

Balloons to remember Brycen. Even though I have never been there with him it will always remind me of him.

Mick's mom, sister Holly, and niece Hannah

Jett, Mick and his dad Bill

This is uncle John and Aunt Donna. I love this because she is laughing so hard here.

Jett decided that he loved Justin. It was really cute.

After playing rough with the boys Jett was excited to kiss the girls.

This is uncle Glen's boat that is 48 years old. The boys worked on it and got it running. It has literally not been touched in 9 years since the group was last in Oklahoma. The entire time we drove it we were grateful to give it one last run. We were all shocked it had it in her.

Catching Frogs. I tried really hard not to be grossed out but Heather supermom took all of her kids frog hunting every night. Ian even kissed a monster one. It was cute.

The last day we had just the three of us so we took Jett to see Winnie The Pooh. Lets just say he LOVED the popcorn (since he shoved his entire face into the bucket) and I am pretty sure he loved the movie too but I slept through it, so I can't say for sure. Being pregnant is apparently tiring.

Oklahoma Part I

2011-07-25T21:13:00.000-07:00

If you were to travel to Oklahoma a lot of people would ask you, WHY OKLAHOMA? I get this a lot when I say I love Idaho, so I can now add Oklahoma to the list of places I just love.

Mick's Grandma Berry, Her sister and her husband (aka Great Aunt Eva and Uncle Glen) as well as his Aunt Donna and Uncle John all live in this small town 80 miles south of Tulsa. The entire Berry Family (minus Josh and Katie who were busy giving birth to their third child) journeyed to Eufaula to visit the family. Siblings we don't see that often and for me and Jett relatives we have never met waited for us there.

This is the entire group of us. Enough to stress you out right? I think all of us our in love and shocked by the sheer volume of us.

This is the group of younger kids aged 4-2. This was probably their only peaceful moment together without any hitting, pushing or shouting of MINE!

My only half decent picture. You won't see me much in these pictures.

Aparently 'showing' means looking fat this time around.

The older kids.

Most of Heather's family minus her oldest Izak plus her brother David.

Sweet Little Juliette. Our little roommate. She was SUCH a happy baby and I was thrilled.

When Jett was tired of the heat he got a 'dora break' which may or may not include a N-A-P.

Jett thinks he is Mr. Boat now. The whole week he wouldn't go near it and all of a sudden on the last night started pointing to it on the lake and saying JETT - BOAT. So I put him on there with Mick who says that Jett refused to sit on anybody's lap, wanted a view the entire time, and if someone held out an arm to prevent him from falling he pushed them away. My sweet little boy. I am still killing myself for not getting a tube picture with him.

TO BE CONTINUED....

Idaho

2011-07-15T17:19:00.000-07:00

One morning I was home alone with Jett at Grandma's house. I was not feeling so well and I kind of let Jett run around the house and play with his toys, not REALLY paying attention to what specifically he was doing. All of a sudden I could hear him laughing with someone. I run out to the living room to see him playing with my cousin Kimber. Nobody else is around. Kimber is 7.

Me: KIMBER, How did you get here?

K: OH The four wheeler.

Me: By Yourself?

K: UH YEAH. I AM SEVEN.

Granted, she only lives half a mile away, but still! After getting over the thought of how Idaho that was, I decided I kind of liked it. I wish I lived there when the babies will be born, because I could just call her to come over and play with Jett and I wouldn't even need to pick her up. A friend with her own transportation! Too bad they don't have a lot of 4-wheelers in Calgary. Or 7 year old cousins (plus the many others who I would love to live by but AREN'T 7 years old).

I finally got my preciously craved Urban Cowboy Sandwich from Gandolfo's Deli. YUMM and totally worth the wait.

This is my sister in law Katie. She is 35 weeks pregnant and I am 15 weeks here. The first one is a more natural picture of me, the second I am kind of pushing / leaning forward.

If Katie sees this she will freak out and want me to warn you that we had no make up, had been outside all day, and it was Saturday. We did not get ready. Considering that we look hot right?

I am so excited to meet Katie (and Josh)'s sweet little boy sometime in August. He is going to be so spoiled by his two older sisters and hopefully me. Sorry buddy but I am praying you get at least one girl cousin to play with, but girls are still fun right?

The Mosquito Missle

2011-07-12T19:45:00.000-07:00

With all of the rain we have had this year, there have been mosquito's EVERYWHERE. My poor baby does NOT do well when bit on the face.

It started with a simple swollen eye. Poor guy got bit right in the eyebrow.

However, the next day he got bit again.

AND AGAIN!

Jett is starting to look like Quasi Moto. He got bit between the eyes (which I am sure is the only spot NOT slathered in bug spray) and his forehead started swelling. Needless to say he was a happy camper despite the swollen face and benadryl saved the day.

Blessing the Baby - Part 2

2011-07-12T11:42:00.000-07:00

So there are a few funny things that happened that I forgot to mention when I was posting pictures of the weekend.

*My cousin Michelle has a dog, her mom was visiting with HER dog, as well as her friend Mandy with a tiny dog, possibly a Yorkshire terrier?

*Jett would play fetch with the bigger dogs all morning long, thrilled that he was allowed to throw a ball inside the house. Unfortunately he wanted to run after it as well as throw it and the dog WAS NOT happy with jett for stealing all the fun.

* After playing with the two dogs, the tiny puppy came up and Jett squealed with excitement "KITTY!"

* Kevin took Jett for a ride with me on the tube. He laughed his head off he loved it so much, until his face got splashed and then he was done.

* I decided that since Jett wasn't riding I could go for a "REAL" ride. 20 minutes later all 3 of us were swimming in the "Cold Lake" while the other 2 were whining of what hurt on the landing, I was more shocked at the water temperature.

Blessing the Baby

2011-07-10T21:22:00.000-07:00

My cousin Michelle and family blessed their baby over the Canada Day Weekend. We took the 6 hour trip up and had a great long weekend visiting and checking out this new (to us) city.

Here we are at the Marina for the fireworks. Jett didn't stay awake long enough to see the show.

Michelle and Karsten

Kevin and his Mom

Lounging by the lake waiting for his boat ride!

Jett is working on a new career as a massage therapist. Just kidding.

The reason for the celebration: Sweet baby Nixon with Grandma J.

It was so awesome to see the McNutt family and we even got to go on a few tube and boat rides. Jett is totally a boat man and loved feeling the wind in his hair! It was so fun and the best way to spend the weekend.

CHEESE!

2011-07-10T20:56:00.000-07:00

Jett loves the camera and totally understands the whole SAY CHEESE thing. He will grab my camera and stick it in his eye and take pictures while yelling cheese. Here are his artistic shots for you.

Funny hey?

Grandparents 2

2011-07-08T06:52:00.001-07:00

I forget how ornery old people are. I got chewed out for 5 minutes on using the wrong cup. Apparently certain cups are meant for certain things. Juice is in the small cups milk in the bigger cups. No mixing and matching. Ever.

And don't even think about sitting in the wrong chair. Everyone gets mad. I didn't know there were assigned seats but apparently I have one.

Cell phone? Only to hold. Don't think about using it we might run out of minutes. I called a friend to share some exciting news (it's not like we get charged for long distance) and I got my cell privileges taken away. Paranoid.

We will have to see what tomorrow brings.

Brooke

Grandparents

2011-07-07T06:35:00.000-07:00

My Mom, Grandma, Uncle Brad, Grandpa, Uncle Joe, and Uncle Mike.

There are certain things that are different when sleeping in the same house as your grandparents.

On one hand it's an advantage because if your kid wakes up screaming in the middle of the night nobody over 50 actually hears him.

The one thing a pregnant lady has in common with her 79 year old grandpa? We both go to the bathroom every 20 minutes and the silent classic toilet seat argument has never been had so often.

I love it here!

Brooke

Mind Over Matter

2011-06-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

I don't believe any more. This pregnancy has been really different. I guess in my mind the only difference I thought would be feeling more uncomfortable earlier in the pregnancy. Once I wasn't sick with my first pregnancy it went really well. Pretty much text book, which is just how Jett was a child. This one? SO DIFFERENT.

With Jett - I would puke once or twice every morning and be done with it
vs.

This time - fine for a few days (turning into over than a week) then super super sick.

I guess since I am PASSED the time most people get over the sickness, I am getting nervous. Just yesterday my mom had to jinx me by commenting on how much better I was feeling. So it should be expected that I wake up super sick.

I gave up hope of just thinking to myself that I felt better, eating like I was fine and I would feel fine.

WRONG!

Another trip to my favorite little mini hospital by my moms house. Thankfully her and mick were BOTH in town and this was way less dramatic. In addition to the gravol and 2 more IV bags, I got a new (to me) drug that they give to cancer patients to stop them from throwing up. I have a new best friend, and went the doctor told me I could leave she said "We will be seeing you soon!".

I am scared.

(Pictures are from the internets. I just thought some people need pictures!)

How we spend our summer nights

2011-06-24T09:16:00.001-07:00

We turned the hot tub to a low temperature and use it as our "pool" now if we can get Jett to say the L people will stop wondering why he is always asking for the "POO"

Worst Day Ever = about my hero's

2011-06-20T20:39:00.000-07:00

So Mick wanted to go fishing this last Saturday with some friends. I decided that I would take Jett to Calaway Park with some friends / family whoever wanted to go. WELL my stomach had other plans for me. I was sick all morning to the point I was freaking out about Jett being taken care of, so I called my BEST BIG BROTHER EVER and begged him to come take care of the little man so I could puke in peace. Not only did he take him he came and picked him up and kept him ALL DAY LONG. BY HIMSELF with his 2 other boys, because Bree was doing a photoshoot for her etsy shop that day. AHHH. He is my hero #1 of the day.

So fast forward a few hours when I have managed to do nothing but still be sick and keep NOTHING down (I know, disgusting to share) I call my mom who was out of town in Victoria. I called to whine. I couldn't handle it ANY MORE. The fact that she answered while roaming is a miracle, I could just hear her thinking $1 a minute Brooke! But she told me to just go to the hospital. Not wanting to believe her I call health think, who also tells me to go to the hospital. I know I cannot drive myself I would kill myself puking out the window while I got there... I literally cannot think of anyone who is free to give me a ride. The only people I can think of either went to Calaway on my ditched plans or just had a baby. Finally I think of my moms BFF who has been in London this last week. I thought she JUST might be back in town. I was in luck, her husband told me she was out buying groceries.

She agrees to come pick me up and she drops me off at the clinic by our house after supplying me with a make shift puke bag. I was so grateful. Not only does she drop me off, she comes back 20 minutes later with a "emergency kit". Included in said kit was crackers, ginger gravol, a bottle of water, a nice leak proof puke bag, and soft napkins. Where did the guardian angel come from? She called me after I was let into a room and not allowed guests. She checked up on me and came to wait to pick me up because her phone was dying and didn't want to miss the "I'm Ready" phone call. I told her she didn't need to worry and could just go home. I could call her there if I needed her.

5 hours, 2 iv bags of fluids, and 1 iv shot of gravol later I was allowed to go home.

My lovely day came to an end with Mick coming home and wondering how I almost died on him (his words) and Jett crashing on the floor at Brandon's house.

I survived.

Waiting

2011-06-20T09:37:00.000-07:00

4.16.2011

Waiting very patient which is a shock because I am not known to be a
patient person. I haven't been going crazy at all.

The past few days I have started to feel uncomfortable. My stomach
feels huge and I constantly feel like I have to pee. Not having to go,
just stomach muscles that feel like they are under pressure all the
time. I am retaining water. I officially look 5 months pregnant and
have gained 5 pounds in the last 2 days. The doctor tells me this is a
good sign but I need to be careful

Brooke

More Decisions & Transfer

2011-06-19T09:36:00.000-07:00

4.8.2011 Decisions

I could not make a decision about which day to transfer and how many
so I called the embryologist this morning at 7:40 so I could make a
decision by 8. She looked to see if embryos had been assessed and
they had. She said well it's clear what to do, the cells tell us to
transfer 2 today. All 9 embryos are fertilized and growing. 2 are
perfect 8 cells and the others are 10 cells. They will transfer an 8
and 10 cell. Apparently I have a 70% chance of getting pregnant and
if pregnant a 30% chance of twins. I am excited but nervous. Aghhhhhh.

Brooke

Decisions

2011-06-18T09:31:00.000-07:00

4.7.2011.

Doctor called this morning to say all eggs fertilized and looking
good. She suggests transferring one egg on day 5 instead of 2 on day
3. Tells me I have to make a decision by tomorrow at 8 when she calls
back.

Brooke

Wake Up!

2011-06-17T19:05:00.001-07:00

So my friend Ms. M had this posted on her blog and I thought it was just too good to NOT share for fathers day. Enjoy!

A father's day wish: Dads, wake the hell up!

By Jeff Pearlman, Editor's note: Jeff Pearlman is a columnist for SI.com. He blogs at jeffpearlman.com.

The woman started crying.

I didn't expect this, because, well, why would I? We were two adults, standing in a preschool auditorium, waiting for the year-end musical gala to begin, talking summer plans and Twitter and junk fiction and all things mindless parents talk at mindless events. Then -- tears.

"My husband," she said, "doesn't care."

"Uh, about what?" I asked.

The floodgates now open, she told me her husband works from home. But he never drops their daughter off at preschool. He never picks their daughter up at preschool. He never wakes up with their daughter, never puts her to bed, never takes her to a movie or a carnival or a ball game; never comes up with fun daddy-daughter activities. "All he worries about is golf," the mother said. "Sometimes he'll take her to the driving range for an hour. But that's it. ..."

Two days later, by mere coincidence, a different mother cornered me. I was sitting in a pizzeria with my son, Emmett, and daughter, Casey, gnawing on a calzone. The woman, another preschool regular who always seems to be dragging around her kids with the worn look of a chain gang inmate, glanced my way and muttered, "My husband would never do that."

"Do what?" I asked.

"Be out alone with both of the kids at once," she said. "Never."

In case you are wondering, I am that dad. The one who works out of the house. The one who drives his kids to school, packs lunches and pushes swings and arranges play dates and attends teacher conferences and -- generally speaking -- frequently finds himself alone in brightly colored rooms filled with women and tykes.

Along with my wife (who, until recently, also worked from home), I wipe snot, clean poop, order time outs and say no -- Really, no! I'm being serious, no! -- to the damned ice cream man and his Satanic siren call. I know all of my kids' friends, and most of their tendencies (Ashley and Emily love dolls, Lucas only wants to talk about Derek Jeter, Tyler digs applesauce).

Hence, I have been sent here today, on behalf of the stay-at-home mothers of the world, to convey to my fellow pops a message of love and hope in this lead-up to Father's Day: Wake the hell up.

Really, wake the hell up. Now. I understand that most of you have 9-to-5 jobs, that you leave tired and come home tired and just wanna chill in front of SportsCenter with a bowl of chips. But, seriously, you have no remote idea: Being a stay-at-home parent is exhausting. At the office, you can hide. You can take lunch. You can pretend you're working while scrolling the Internet for Yankees-Blue Jays and, ahem, Lindsay Lohan news. You have genuine social interactions with folks over the age of, oh, 12. People ask questions about your day -- and listen to the answers.

I envy you, but I sort of pity you. Kids grow. Age 1 turns to age 3, which turns to age 7, which turns to 15 and 18 and 21, all in the blink of an eye. If you're there, as I am, it flies. If you're not there -- if you're almost never there -- it barely exists at all. Which is why I just can't stomach those millions of dads who view their days at home as recovery from work, who'd rather rest than engage, who have no problem with passing the tykes off for more alone time with mom and who, literally, moan to their wives, "You have no idea how hard I work."

For you, I offer these 10 commandments of righteous fatherhood. Pay close attention, because, behind your back, people are pitying your wife:

1. No golf on weekends: Seriously, it's ludicrous. Your spouse is home with the kids all the time, and you think it's OK to take five hours on a weekend day to pursue your own pastime? Selfishness, thy name is Father.

2. Wake up: Literally, wake up. With your kids. On at least one of the two weekend days -- and perhaps both. I know: you wake up early for work. Not even remotely the same thing. Rising alongside the kiddies is hard. And crazy. And (gasp!) sorta fun, if you'd just stop moping.

3. Change diapers: If you have little kids, and you don't know how to change diapers (or, even worse, refuse to change diapers), you're pathetic. That's no exaggeration -- p-a-t-h-e-t-i-c. It's not all that hard, and though the poop sometimes winds up on the fingers, well, uh, yeah. It just does. Wash your hands.

4. Play with dolls and paint your toenails: How many fathers do I know who refuse to get girlish with their girls? Dozens. Dude, put aside the machismo, break out Barbie and slather on some pink polish. You'll make a friend for life -- and nobody else is watching.

5. Do things you don't want to do: It's easy to take the kids to the driving range -- because you want to be there. Now try spending the day having a tea party at American Girl. Or crawling through one of those wormholes at the nearby kiddie gym. Fun? Often, no. But this isn't about you.

6. Order the wife to bug off: I recently met a mother who told me her husband hadn't been alone with their 9-year-old daughter for more than two hours ... ever. Inexcusable. Let your wife do her own thing: relax, take a run, whatever. Entertain your children solo. They don't bite (Note: CNN.com is not liable if your children do, in fact, bite).

7. Surprise! Just once, on a random day without meaning or purpose, show up early at your kid's school/camp/wherever, say "Get in the car!" and take him/her somewhere special. Just the two of you, alone. A movie. A park. A hike. The memory lasts -- I promise.

8. Dishes Don't Clean Themselves (Nor Do Toys): It's amazing how this one works. You pick up a dish, run it under hot water with some soap, rub it down with a towel and place it back on the shelf. Then repeat.

9. Wake up your kid: Not often. But if you want to score big points and create a killer memory moment, walk in Junior's room at, oh, midnight, wake him/her up and go outside for 10 minutes to watch the stars.

10. For God's sake, tell your kids you love them: They never see you, and they'd probably like to know.

Bud, as you read this your wife is expecting little -- and your kids are expecting even less. Pull one out of the blue. Make Father's Day less about you, and all about them.

Thank you Jeff Pearlman!!!

Egg Check Up

2011-06-17T09:30:00.000-07:00

4.6.2011

11 eggs 9 are excellent quality and 2 are average.

Brooke

Extraction Day

2011-06-16T09:26:00.000-07:00

Extraction day - Probably the worst of the entire process. The IV sucked that bad. It hurt for weeks afterwords. You are legally intoxicated after the procedure so you can't be alone for the day. My mom was in charge of babysitting me. The rest of it was NO PROBLEM. Just the IV.

4.5.2011 extraction day

I had to be there at 8:30 and drop off Jett at my moms at 7:30. So
early! Traffic was actually not bad and we got there with time to
spare. We got called in pretty quickly and gowned up. I was really
nervous but by this point I know most of the nurses so they are
friendly.

I was nervous about the IV the most. The doctor was pretty snarky with
me about the correct way to pump my fist to get my veins thick.
Overall it was fine. I walked myself into the room and jumped on the
bed. I was so nervous my whole body was shaking. They give you the
happy drugs and all is good to go. The nurse keeps asking me
questions. There is a large tv on the wall and I remember seeing the
first few seconds but the rest of it is a blur. I just remember
getting really confused when I just wanted to sleep and the nurse
kept asking me questions so I kept saying "now where was I going
with this?".

When we got out Mick was right there waiting and helping. I heard the
doctor say it was Micks job to keep me awake and I tried really hard
not to sleep. The nurse came over after and thought I was getting
paranoid which is a bad side effect of the drugs but I had to tell her
I was trying to force my eyes open to stay awake.

Brooke

Nurses Yelling

2011-06-15T09:25:00.000-07:00

4.2.2011

Tired of nurses yelling at me. I paid a lot of money and I am hopped
up on crazy drugs being emotional. No yelling please. If I have my
paper with me or in the car I don't really care. I have a college
degree I can handle remembering that my dose didn't change and to take
the same amount again. At least I can remember long enough to write it
down when i get my sheet in the car in 5 minutes. Freak.

Today it was because I couldn't gets my phone in my purse and so I
missed their call and had to call back.

I got "it's really important that you answer your phone". Well no shit
Sherlock but it's just as important not to die digging it out of my
purse while driving.

Brooke

Symptoms, Whining

2011-06-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

3.31.2012

My stomach is killing me. I feel so bloated (which is such an ugly
word but the only word I think describes this new feeling). I feel
full of air but not gassy. Tmi. I know. If I sit down too long my hip
bones push too much on my inner parts that it hurts.

I can't sleep on my stomach for the same reason. Who knew. But last
ultrasound wasn't nearly as painfull so the last doctor lied... Haha.
This is about my only side effect so far so I consider myself lucky.

Brooke

Interruption

2011-06-13T17:59:00.001-07:00

I would like to interrupt my little venting spiel of IVF to proudly announce that I had my first day in a LONG time (okay, maybe only a few weeks) that I have NOT THROWN UP. I know, disgusting, and for a while there I was way more tired than sick, and I thought, OH this pregnancy is SO DIFFERENT. Haha, cue evil sickness, night and day. I have learned when things are good you do not announce it. Fate will always step in. Evil evil fate.

So here is to booster juice smoothies first thing in the morning and no sickness all day long!

Worky Worky

2011-06-13T09:18:00.000-07:00

3.29.2011

I am finally down to one job. For the last few months I have been
working my butt off to make $8500 for invitro.

It all started last fall when I got laid off from my previous job. I
knew I wanted to be pregnant and needed to work to build my hours for
maternity leave. Nobody in the building industry was hiring, they were
all laying people off as well. So I figured I may as well just find a
job at the mall. Anthroplogie was just opening up so I applied and got
a managing job there, but full time. The day i was offered the job I
started panicking about working full time. Then my friend who had a
day home told me she was getting divorced and moving to Edmonton. So I
had nobody to watch Jett.

I suddenly remembered a guy I worked with at cardel who was our
flooring rep who started his own flooring store and design centre. I
called him to see if he was hiring and possibly someone part time. I
sent him my resume. He called the next morning and i went in for an
interview that day and was offered a job before I got home. I think it
was meant to be.

I called anthro to tell them it wasn't going to work and they offered
me an assistant managing position part time a couple nights a week. I
figured I needed the money so why not?

So my schedule was 3 days a week at the design center. 2-3 nights a
week at Anthro.

Then I had a friend of joel's call who asked if I would help him rent
out his apartment. Sure, why not.

Then I had another friend ask if I could help him design his website.
Sure, why not.

Apartment got rented, website completed, and today was my last shift
at Anthro. Thank freaking goodness. I loved that job but the time away
got to be too much especially when I am going through all this in
vitro stuff. I would love to go back later. Just wish it paid more.

Brooke

Another ultrasound

2011-06-12T09:17:00.000-07:00

3.27.2011 Sunday

Ultrasound hurt like the dickens today. I literally feel like I got
punched in the kidneys. Still. I asked the doctor (as this is an
unusual feeling) if its normal to feel this uncomfortable. She just
said "it will get worse each time you are in" I think because your
ovaries are so swollen. Yowza. I just want to lay down. Off to church
to teach my last Sunday school class. I am so excited to finally be
released from that calling. Mick got a new one but I haven't yet. I am
hoping it takes a couple weeks and then I get something awesome.

Brooke

Daily Monitoring

2011-06-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

After you start your injections the doctors monitor you very closely so they can ensure you are on the correct dosage. Bloodwork and an ultrasound. You come in every other day or more depending on how you respond.

3-24-11 Waiting for bloodwork.

There are so many people in the clinic today I am sitting on the
floor. This is so crazy.

I am also shocked at how many husbands are here. Maybe it's
because I have a kid at home to find a sitter for, but I wouldn't ask
Mick to come for a 10 minute blood test. Hmmm. maybe I am just
more independent in this.

This is the lovely "internal ultrasound" machine. I took this picture to text to mick telling him what he was missing out on. So gross, TMI I know.

Becoming a needle junkie

2011-06-10T08:42:00.000-07:00

Starting on March 7th I began a medication called puregon, which basically stops your brain from controlling your hormones and shuts down your system so that the doctors can override it. Its a nasal spray that you do 5 times a day. Thinking nasal spray, I was excited because its not a needle! But the 5 times a day gets a little brutal and its very time sensitive, so I would run out of meetings or mid meal with my mother, run to use my "sniffer". After that begins to do its business, the injections begin.

March 22 2011 injections

Starting injections

When I first thought of injections my mind tends to distance itself
and not really think about it. I figured it isn't that big a deal. When
The pharmacist began explaining it to me I began to gag and freak
out. I was not calm.

I decided to freak out instead about the things I can control. Aeroplan
Points. There is a pharmacy inside the RFP clinic but you also have
the option to send it wherever you would like. I chose to send it to my
local pharmacy where I get lots of airmiles and figured the positive
outcome from this whole thing would be enough points to fly somewhere
cool! However, the RFP clinic has all of the drugs in stock. You have
to order them 24 hours in advance at my pharmacy. NO big deal right?
Well I showed up at my first "base ultrasound" appointment today and
they managed to prescribe me the ONE brand that isn't covered by my
insurance. We are talking thousands of dollars here, so I asked if they
would mind switching. They didn't mind but I needed to start THAT DAY.
So I ended up picking up the smallest dose from the RFP pharm and ordering
the rest from the local pharm.

I run down to the rfp pharmacy to get a gonal f pen. When I get the
instructions I feel squeamish about the needle. It has to be injected
at a 90 degree angle and the entire needle must be inserted. Nasty.

After I inject the first day it's not such a big deal.

Brooke

IVF Information Session - The Beginning of the Journey

2011-06-08T09:03:00.000-07:00

At the Regional Fertility Program (RFP) in Calgary, all patients are required to attend an IVF information session prior to beginning their treatment. I find that for women who are actually the people GOING THROUGH the whole procedure, we are fairly well researched. For the men, however, I found they appreciated the knowledge and coming from a doctor telling you she will be bloated and moody, its definatley more reliable.

We made the decision to do IVF and paid our $200 to be on the waiting list the week of Christmas. Funny enough, the wait for the info session took the longest. The ended up offering me treatment and then squeezing me into an earlier (full) session.

* Warning, these are my journal entries from the actual day they happened, and so emotional outbursts must be taken with a grain of salt*

Ivf info session -feb 24th 2011

I just waited 3 months to get in to a mandatory information session to
proceed with my in vitro process. I walked into the cramped university
auditorium and was shocked at just how many people were facing similar
fates to ours.

As I walked out the door I thought "I am just about to make the biggest
purchase of my entire life besides a house or car and its on something
everyone else gets for free, usually on accident, and doesn't always
want"

Aren't I lucky?

Do you want to know?

2011-06-05T20:15:00.000-07:00

So I have my little journal entries on my phone I typed up in all of my crazy doctors appointments and all my venting in the process of getting to where I am today. I want to put it on here so when I print my blog I have it, question is. Do you want to read it? I am over the personal feelings of shyness so I don't care either way. What do you think? TMI or interesting? To publish or not?

Bad Dreams

2011-06-02T09:56:00.000-07:00

Whenever I have a restless night of sleep I always dream about school. It usually involves me showing up to school on the day of finals, realizing that I haven't been to class all semester long! I am going to fail my test.

I also have dreams that I can't figure out what class I have next in my schedule.

Does this mean I am crazy? Anyone else have reoccurring dreams?

Mystery?

2011-05-17T08:47:00.000-07:00

Clue #1

Clue #2

Surprise!!!!

Jett is going to be a big brother x2 starting around Christmas time this year!

2011-05-14T19:25:00.001-07:00

I love that when Jett want me to do something he starts by calling me "mommy" which is quickly followed by "Brooke"!!!!

Silly boy.

Baking with grandma

2011-05-06T19:15:00.001-07:00

Arent these so cute? My mom was making treats for her achievement days tea party tomorrow and I just had to take pictures because I think they are SOOOO cute.

2011-05-05T17:00:00.000-07:00

Today as we drove home past mcdonalds. Jett's response? "I want chicken. I want fries."

Raining

2011-05-05T15:00:00.000-07:00

We took Jett to look at plants and while I chickened out at the sight of slight rain, my mom took Jett out there and taught him a new word. RAINING.

This morning I stuck him in the shower with me so I could buy myself a little more time, and he looked up at the water and said "Mommy, its raining".

More pictures

2011-05-02T13:12:00.000-07:00

My dad just sent me these, so thought I would post them too

Carla and that sweet baby Damien.

The boys, practicing for the song the grandkids sang.

Dad's Aunts.

You would never know but my cousin michelle is 8 months pregnant here. Sneeky! And her ADORABLE and TALENTED daughter Cassie.

The girls practicing.

2011-05-02T12:38:00.000-07:00

My Grandpa Johnson passed a way about a month ago. He lived a long eventful life and he went out in the best way possible. All of his kids were there, surrounded by family. He was reasonably healthy and conscious until his last morning. We were warned that he might only have about 48 hours left so we got plenty of time to talk to him, keep him company. I am not good with words so here are the pictures of the family.

My dads sisters. My aunt Cheryl and Jocelyn. I love that the are matching and didn't even plan it.

This was his last morning. He didn't look like this up until then. He looked like himself. This is my uncle Ron and my dad.

Uncle Ron and Cousin Kevin. I am so happy I got a picture of them together. We don't see either of them very often so it was nice!

Jett was loving this baby. This is Damien, my cousin Chuck and Carla's newest. He is SOOO adorable.

I am so glad that I have such a big family. On both my mom and dads side I have a lot of fun cousins that are always fun to talk to. I enjoy seeing family resemblances and finding things you have in common.

Yay for family!

Birthdays and Trampoline's

2011-05-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

Like most birthdays in our families now a days, there are multiples within a few days of each other so we have started to celebrate together! This time it was Mom and the Twin's birthday. They were so cute with how excited they got about everything.

Doesn't my mom look so cute?

So happy!

They got a tramp for their brithday and we have sure had fun with it!

Jett wasn't sure how he felt about it at first, but now everything is a tramp. He jumps on the bed, on the couch, on the chairs, off the chairs onto the floor! EVERYTHING!

Jetts first haircut

2011-04-04T21:22:00.000-07:00

Parachute Time

2011-03-23T15:10:00.000-07:00

After over 6 months of nursery, Jett is finally participating. The one thing he is willing to do is play with the parachute. When I took him to the gym to play with the toys with cousins, he ran for it and totally understood what to do. It was so adorable. He looks like he is crying in some but in reality he was screaming in excitement and the camera happened to catch a picture of the squinty eyes he inherited from his mom.

As I have been told that my blog is interesting to read if you want to see Jett, but not so much any other members of the household, I promise I will update more about my self. It just seems like everything going on is either too personal to blog about or just venting about what is going on at work and other day to day things. I will try harder...

Bunk beds- Canada style

2011-03-15T12:08:00.001-07:00

Who needs bunk beds when you can have a built in hammock in a hockey net?

2 years today

2011-03-04T13:05:00.000-08:00

2 years ago today I became a mother and met the cutest little guy in the world my Jett Man.

As of today, his loves include:

Mommy and daddy
Grandma Debbie
Thomas the train
Throwing the Ball
Coloring on everything
Fries
Dipping sauces
Books
Running (sometimes including a funny gallop)
Jumping off everything
Snacks in nursery
Sitting in his high chair whether he is hungry or not.
Switching on and off the lights

Words include:
No
Okay
Mommy
Daddy
Yes
Ta-da
Eyes
Nose
Debbie (sounds like bubbie)
Sit!
Choo Choo
Buzz
Woody
Beep beep!
Juice
Coke (thanks grandma and Mick for this one)
I want coke!
I want juice!
That one!
Jump!
Baby!
Help!

We haven't had his party yet but there are celebrations in order.

Jetts first tattoo

2011-02-27T20:40:00.000-08:00

Jett every so often does something that just makes me laugh all the time. Like when you ask him where his belly is, he will lift up his shirt as far as possible to SHOW you where is belly is. Lately it has been the answer "okay" to everything. Yes was too tricky apparently. Well just as he has started slowing down on the word I realized I never got it on video. So for my memories sake, here it is. WE were putting on toy story tattoos if you are wondering what we are talking about.

Jett in the fall

2011-02-04T09:58:00.000-08:00

A while ago my friend Chelsea asked to take pictures of Jett so she could get to know her camera a little better. Of course, I jumped on the opportunity. Unfortunately Jett was being a bit of a whiny pants that day. SO I have posted a few of the funny and best of the shoot.

I look so cool in my leather jacket. I don't smile. I am too tough.

Food is better than smiling mom.

AIR PLANE!

NO. I will NOT sit on the chair. I am strong enough to carry it!

2011-02-02T20:49:00.001-08:00

The first day I can fit into my favorite jeans and I fall and rip the knees. What is the universe trying to tell me?

Feelings.

2011-01-27T16:46:00.000-08:00

My head hurts when I lean to one side. SINUSES BLAH!

I feel guilty at work for not putting in more days.

I feel guilty when I spend my time with Jett just running around trying to get "stuff"done

I love when I spend my mornings just laughing with Jett Man.

I wish I didn't need as many hours of sleep in a night.

I will NOT wake up if I haven't got enough.

I am getting excited about celebrating a silly holiday like Valentines Day. These events seem much more fun with a kid in the house.

Perhaps we need another.

(That is NOT an announcement)

News and the views

2011-01-26T10:29:00.000-08:00

I have been feeling a little down in the dumps lately.

Just not really motivated or excited about much.

Yesterday was a different day.

The lady at the fast food window told me she LOVED me hair.

A girl I work with asked if I had lost weight.

A client at work told me I looked like Kate Hudson (hey, I'll take it)

Another lady looking through the store asked how I did the little braid in my hair.

Superficial, I know. But it made me feel happy.

Just one of those days where people are really chatty, and fun to be around

and it makes the time just fly by. YAY!

And yes, I am wearing my skinny pants.

I think my son is a hoarder

2011-01-18T12:39:00.001-08:00

Talky Talky

2011-01-14T12:13:00.000-08:00

You make me happy

2011-01-14T09:13:00.000-08:00

When skies are grey

The year of trains

2010-12-26T18:57:00.000-08:00

Jett's current obsession. Thomas the train.

Adventures In Management

2010-12-21T14:58:00.000-08:00

Last night, while working at my new part time gig at the mall, I was closing the store, and I left my purse and car keys in the managers office. I knocked on the door to have the girls open it, and they couldn't get the door open. They were locked inside!

The managers slid their keys under the door for me to unlock. No such luck. A few of the other girls tried the keys as well. NO GO. After numerous attempts to unlock the door, the girls inside called a district manager who called mall security. The mall cops were not able to help me but were able to refer me to a 24 hour locksmith. We knew there had to be something wrong with the lock itself because I could take the lock core out of the handle. Locksmith refuses to enter the building because people are trapped inside, so because of the 'emergency situation' I had to call the police.

The police refer me to the firemen. Meanwhile I find another locksmith willing to come in and help rescue. (The ladies hoped that they were hot!) The firemen arrive first, with crowbars and other big tools in hand. Minutes later the lock smith runs in while the firemen and busting open the door screaming "WAIT, I CAN FIX IT". The firemen rescue the women and the locksmith fixes the door. I left my 6-10 shift at 1:45am. Lovely.

The End.

Babysitting

2010-12-21T13:28:00.000-08:00

When Aunt Brooke babysits she makes sure they are taken care of.

Idaho

2010-12-02T10:48:00.000-08:00

Jett likes to watch cartoons when he first wakes up! Luckily Jozy would share her chair!

Jett joined the girls in his new found passion of foam stickers. These stickers are still showing up in the laundry, in the car, in my purse, and all over the place!

We finally got technology at the Berry's! We were all a little excited to have wireless internet.

These two LOVED the stickers. Again.

Devanie came to see me. I love this girl. I love having friends where you can pick up where you left off. There is no drama and always good times.

Thanksgiving Day

2010-12-01T11:27:00.000-08:00

I am hoping that my brother in law will send me the pictures that he took on his nice camera, but until then you can see what I took!

Baby Juliette. I want to pinch those cheeks all day long.

Ask Jett - Where is your belly? This is what you will get in response.

He just discovered crayons this trip but he also discovered dumping the whole box!

All of the girls and the two baby boys played "monster". One person screamed and they all ran. Fun! Look at the difference in body types between Jett and Ian. Only 6 weeks apart!

Ida and Jett were fighting over the stroller so we put them both in it! Everyone was happy!